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Life and Work Blog

Mindset: The Lies that Bind

Aug 14, 2018 8:30:00 AM / by Michael Pfau

Are Your Beliefs Hindering Your Growth?

“Who do you think you’re kidding? You’re never going to figure this out!” There it was again: an old mindset. I’d been working on a tech-related issue with my website and based upon experience, I knew that once I figured out the problem, it was going to be simple fix. But the tricky part? Figuring it out WITHOUT spending too much time on it.

Perhaps you can relate to a similar mindset. One that whispers, “People aren’t interested in what you have to offer.” One that snipes, “You don’t have enough experience or training or letters behind your name!” As a small business owner you wear a lot of hats, but not all fit comfortably. The gap from where you are to where you want to be can seem like the Grand Canyon. And this is where your mindset is crucial.

Your mindset is made up of past events, along with emotions that were experienced at the time. These emotional relationships are formed from the moment of your birth. Because there isn’t the ability to think rationally about life events that are communicated to you during your early years, verbal and non-verbal messages are very powerful. Once received, you tend to form an emotional relationship to this input which in turn forms a mindset, and the mindset will remain until it is challenged.

As a coach, I’ve found it imperative to come alongside my clients as they process interior thoughts, feelings and beliefs. These are influenced by personality, values, temperament and the community in which one is raised. These thoughts all exert influence on the feeling part of your brain called the Limbic System as it evaluates situations, people and circumstances and events.

So how can you shift your mindset?

Change mindset

Build an awareness of habits and mindsets that are undermining your success and leading you away from the desired outcomes you want in life.

Build an understanding of how this habit or mindset was formed. How old where you when you first noticed it? Who was speaking? Visualize the moment by stepping outside of it so you can look objectively at yourself.

Build a plan to get past it. As you look at yourself objectively, capture the false mindset and flip it on its head. For instance, maybe you were told by a parent you were no good at sports and that became a mindset. Focus on the truth about yourself and the situation by creating an affirmation, maybe something like this: “It’s not that I’m not good at sports, it’s that I really don’t like them.”

Take Away: Orient your life around your wiring – your strengths, personality, values, gifts and talents. Look for ways to use them every day so you can lower the time you work outside your zone of strength. You may find that the old mindset has nothing left to talk about!

Oh, and the tech issue with my website? I finally broke down and called a friend that I knew would have the answer. He gave me the fix and my problem was solved in five minutes!

Interested in learning more? Listen to my “Coaching and the Brain Webinar”. Your brain will be glad you did.

Listen to my Coaching & the Brain Webinar


Topics: Personal Growth

Michael Pfau

Written by Michael Pfau

Michael Pfau, M.Ed, PCC, BCC, is President of Crossways Life Coaching, where he partners with middle aged professionals who desire more from life and yearn to discover and live the life God has designed for them. I have been where you are and have journeyed personally and professionally to align my life around the things that matter most. Along with his own successful coaching practice, Michael is an instructor and Dean for the School of Life Coaching for the Professional Christian Coaching Institute. Michael is married to Deanna and they have two awesome girls. You can find Michael on the Munyay Coach Marketplace.