How to Deal with the Stress of Coronavirus thru the Coaching Approach

The Coronavirus is affecting everyone, and with it brings stress: concern for health and safety, loss of work, shift in school, change of routine, uncertainty about the future, grief in relationships…I don’t have to go on. How do you deal with stress? In this blog post, we’ll lay out four suggestions for how to effectively manage stress.

This is an important skill to have, not only in these days of pandemic, but for everyday stress as well. Let's look at four words—Reality, Root, Results, and Relief—to find ways to deal with stress in a healthy way.

Reality

Goal: awaken to the reality of your stress

An important part of managing stress is becoming aware of your stress. Becoming aware of your stress requires self-awareness. You will become personally aware—or someone will point it out to you—that something is affecting you:

• you’re irritable or bothered
• you’ve blown up or snapped at someone
• you can’t sleep or rest
• you find yourself overeating or overdrinking

Case Study: A few days ago, I noticed I was snappy at my family, which wasn’t like me. That made me aware that something was going on with me, so I started to explore what was stressing me out.

Root

Goal: identify the root of your stress

Once you’re aware of the current, pressing stress, you get curious: “What has caused this anxiety? What am I stressed about?” As you ask, don’t settle for the first answer. I’ve found that while the first answer will get me on the right track, it’s rarely the real root of my anxiety.

Imagine yourself digging a tunnel and with each dig, you burrow deeper in and more narrowly. This question process should go deeper and narrower, in search for the real root. It is through this commitment to the truth that you will find the answer. Your effective management of stress is connected to identifying the correct cause of stress.

Case Study: My search went like this (The exact questions don’t matter as much as the inquiry process itself):

• What is causing my anxiety? This coronavirus crisis
• What’s behind that? I’m working from home a lot
• What is stressful about that? I’m limited in where I can go and what I can do
• What’s behind that? My independence is being threatened

Results

Goal: inventory the effects of your anxiety

After you’ve become aware of your stress and identified the cause—which by the way, may take some time—then you want to look at the results. What has your anxiety produced? This step may overlap with the Reality step because it’s sometimes the results of our stress that make us aware that it’s there.

Here you want to take account of what your stress has caused. What are the consequences? For example:

• strained relationships
• shortened sleep
• sloppy work
• so forth

This is helpful because it will strengthen your resolve to manage your stress effectively. You will start to see the damage that unresolved stress is causing, which will help you move to the next step.

Case Study: So, when I inventoried the effects: irritability with family, inward rebelliousness toward public crisis recommendations, sense of hopelessness

Relief

Goal: find healthy relief from your stress

Getting here means you have become aware of your stress, identified the root, and inventoried the effects of your stress. This may happen quickly or may take more time, but either way, it’s worth the process so you don’t achieve shallow, short-lived relief that doesn’t really help.

Here you want to be purposeful. Think about what you’ve learned and decide on an action that will bring you relief. This may not solve the entire problem, but it will help you care for yourself. Stress must go somewhere. Design an action that helps you. 

Case Study: I talked with my wife about my need for independence and how this crisis is rubbing against that (sometimes stress comes because of something pressing against our values). I looked for ways to exert my independence in meaningful ways.

Every day brings opportunities for stress. What will you do with it? Try our four suggestions.

In case you're interested:

Are you suddenly a remote worker? Are you struggling to feel engaged? We recorded a webinar on employee engagement tips for remote workers.