Dear Family and Friends,
It’s impossible to say this in person to everyone we want to, so we’re saying it here. We apologize if blogging this letter seems impersonal or tacky, but it’s the best means we have right now.
First of all, thank you so much for your support. Adopting Asher has been a dream of ours for three years. After a mountain of paperwork and prayers and payments and waiting, he’s finally with us.
In a way, you have waited with us. And held our hands. And reminded us that one day, we’ll hold his. Thank you for loving us so.
That day is finally here. And although you’ve been waiting along with us, we ask you to wait even longer. We love that you want to see him and hold him and play with him, but it’s not time yet.
This might seem cruel, but we have to ask you to wait.
You see, we’re all overjoyed at this adoption. All of us, except for Asher.
Imagine being taken away from all you’ve known—your friends, home, caregivers, language, food, routine, etc. Suddenly your world is flipped upside down. And you never asked for it. It was done to you. Sure they tried to prepare you by posting pictures on your wall and going over names and praying with you, but can you really be ready?
So now you’re in this strange place with strange people and for some reason, everyone is so happy about you being here. And while you do laugh and seem to be enjoying yourself and have some fascinations—automatic hand dryers and forests full of trees—you cry in bed each night. Your heart is breaking for the home you once knew.
Why is everyone so happy about that?
What you don’t know is that in time, your heart will heal. You’ll come to love these people as your family and know in your heart what mommy and daddy and brother and sister mean. You will have the experiences to back it up. But it’ll take time. And it’ll hurt real bad for a while.
This is why we’re asking you to wait and to trust us.
The five of us need to become a family now. The four of us had it down pretty well, which was itself a challenge. Now we’re adding Asher. And that affects all of us.
So for Asher’s sake and our family’s sake, please understand. We may not go to church for a while—it’s not because we’ve forsaken God. We may turn down your invitations to get together—it’s not because we don’t like you. We may pull Asher away if you try to touch him—it’s not because you have cooties (well, except for Steve Lutz).
It’s not about you at all. It’s about building a bond with Asher so he knows who he belongs to (you’ll agree he deserves that).
Thank you for your grace and understanding, love and support. We’re making the best decisions we know how to make, and if they’re awkward or off-putting, we hope you will trust our hearts that you’ve come to know.
f you have any questions, please ask.
The Chris Heinz Family